How Rituals Help Me Do The Day

How Rituals Help Me Do The Day

Over the last few months I have really struggled to find the motivation to get shit done to be honest. For a period of time I found it hard to even get out of bed let alone leave the house. Slowly that has receded and I am finding it easier to ‘do life’ again. But having a somewhat chaotic or disorganised morning can leave me feeling frazzled and a bit discombobulated for the rest of the day. This has been compounded by lying awake in bed thinking of what I need to do in the morning which makes it impossible to sleep. But I have found that if I perform a few simple rituals it just makes everything so much easier.  

Believe it or not there is actual scientific evidence to the benefits of rituals. ​​The science behind morning and evening rituals lies in the concept of "circadian rhythm" - our body's natural internal clock, which regulates energy levels throughout the day, and can be significantly influenced by consistent routines, helping to signal to the brain when it's time to be alert and when it's time to wind down. Which leads to improved focus, mood, and sleep quality. 

There are a whole host of books given over to this subject including Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod which was one of the books in my Business Book Club. And The 5am Club by Robin Sharma, another Book Club read. Both are great and I have been able to take a few things from them, but they are a bit hardcore. A Year of Living Simply by Kate Humble has been a much gentler read and one I found more helpful. 

All of which have led me to really think about how I begin and end my days. As a creature of habit naturally, I enjoy certain rituals throughout the day almost without noticing it. I make my coffee with a strove top mocha pot. Measuring out the water and then spooning in the ground coffee. Heating the milk and then waiting for the sound of the coffee as it boils. All this is as reassuring to me as the sound of the washing machine. A bit weird I know but the sound of the washing machine just makes me feel all is right with the world - it’s homely and safe. 

So I have been working on my morning rituals recently and it's really making a difference. Mornings seem to set the mood for everything that follows. If I am rushing around and barely have time to breathe, I know now that I am going to carry that stress with me for the rest of the day. Equally if I am sluggish and just scrolling on my phone I lack the energy to get off my arse and be productive. But if I start my day more slowly and with intention, I feel focused and able to deal with what the day throws at me. I have found that giving myself a good morning routine helps me to: 

• Be energised and ready to tackle anything.

• Start with a positive mindset.

• Stay organised and be more intentional about what I am doing.

• Boost my productivity hugely.

Taking a little time for myself in the mornings now can make the whole day feel so much more manageable. Particularly if I know I am having to deal with shitty stuff. 

My Morning Rituals

I’ve listed below a few of the things I am incorporating into my morning routine now. I am not always able to do all of them, but it's getting a little easier the more I make an effort to do so. 

Wake Up a Little Earlier
I give myself some breathing room. I used to be awake by 5am, but that’s just rude! Waking up earlier though, even by just 15 minutes, can make such a difference. No more rushing about even if I’m working from home. Plus, sticking to a consistent wake-up time helps regulate my body clock. So now my alarm goes off at 6:30 am.

Drink Water First Thing
I am a total coffee-holic, as you may know. But even I am aware of the benefits of drinking water. After I have been asleep for hours, I know my body needs hydration. So I drink a glass of water first thing. Sometimes it has a squeeze of lemon or lime juice in it to make it a bit more palatable - maybe that’s just the water where I live? And I do drink more water now throughout the day too. Having a reminder on my smartwatch really helps with that.

Move My Body
In the winter I am really not a morning person and everything is much creakier first thing. But I have really found that just a few simple stretches really do loosen things up a bit. Although it’s impossible to do any yoga in the living room with Olive the Labrador about as she tries to join in and “help”.

Set My Intentions
While I am sitting and drinking my coffee - usually outside in the garden when I can - I have started to take a minute to think about what I want to accomplish that day. Depending on the tasks I know I have to achieve I will change the type of “mantra” - for want of a better word, I will live by this day. If I know I am having to deal with shitty stuff it will be something like "This too will pass and I have the strength to deal with it until it does”. Or if I am doing something lovely and creative it will be “I can feel positive energy flowing through me today helping me create something wonderful”.  I know it sounds a little woo woo, but trust me it works! I believe the technical term is ‘positive affirmation’. And there’s a lot written about this too. 

My Evening Rituals 

These have had a profound affect on me, and I am implementing them as much as I can. I am more aware now of having a fixed cut off point from the working day. After having worked stupid hours over the last few years, evenings now are all about winding down and resetting. It’s my chance to reflect on the day and get ready for the next. But rather than just slumping on the sofa and tuning out. I have found that active rest is so much more beneficial. Although I have to admit to still enjoying a bit of mind numbing TV - I love a bit of vampire teenage angst - What a confession! However, I don't let it control my entire evening now. 

I enjoy cooking so I am looking at more healthy recipes and even the idea of intermittent fasting so I am reading up on that at the moment. I am making time to read some of the books I received for Christmas and that have been languishing on my reading list for a while. I am clearing out a load of crap from the kid’s rooms now they are no longer here full time. And even planning on what seeds to sow in the garden - but that will be a whole other series of journal posts! 

Creating an evening routine has been just as important as the morning one. It’s helped me to:

• Sleep better (finally!).

• Feel less stressed and anxious.

• Have a clear head for the next day.

When I end the day on a high note, it’s so much easier to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go again the next day. I know as the evenings get lighter and warmer my routine will change and develop which is a good thing. 

Finishing the day on a positive note has become increasingly important to how I feel about myself and my ability to wind down and truly relax. So these are the ones I am ending my day with. Again I am not able to do all of them all the time, but practice makes perfect!

Reflect on the Day
I take a few minutes to think about what went well today. Even if I was dealing with the shitty stuff something good will have happened at some point. It could be as simple as someone letting me out at a junction, or watching the robin in the garden. Just listing things I’m grateful for can be a real mood booster too. So I write down one or two wins for the day and maybe something I’d like to improve. 

Close off the Day
I am getting into the habit of jotting down my to-do list or what I have scheduled for the next day. If I can get it out of my head I won’t have to worry about what I need to remember overnight. It’s a bit like Dumbledore’s Pensieve. If I can take out any thoughts that could trouble me overnight and write them down I no longer have them in my head to worry about. 

Step Away from Screens
This is one I really struggle with, but I will persevere as I know it makes me calmer. I have removed all the social media apps from my phone’s home screen so I have to make a conscious decision about going online. It is hard as both Charlie and I run businesses that involve a social media presence. But we are both making an effort to put our phones away in the evening and read a book, watch a film, or even talk to each other! 

Evening Meditation
I love the Headspace App and find the voices on there really calming. Sometimes as I have been visually stimulated all day - sitting in front of a computer, driving or watching TV in the evening, I find just listening to be truly relaxing. Whether it’s an audio book or one of the Headspace sleepcasts, it helps me unwind, breathe more deeply and find some calmness. It also makes falling asleep so much easier.

But Here's The Thing

All of the information I have read up on rituals clearly states that rituals only work if you stick with them. Consistency is the key factor here. This is something I am struggling with and it is very easy to fall off the wagon of good intent. But I have worked out that starting small and deciding on what the non-negotiables are makes a difference to my ability to be consistent. For me the NonNegs are starting my day with Intention. It doesn’t matter if I wake up later or if I don’t drink water or stretch. I can get back my feeling of equilibrium if I take time to think about my day and what I want to do with it. Similarly I know that if I close off my day properly I will have a calmer and more restful evening and sleep.

Building these small rituals into my day doesn't need to be complicated and I don’t need to change everything all at once. In Atomic Habits by James Clear a great deal of store is set by habit stacking. Where you add on a little thing you want to change to something you already do. For example when I finish work I have to change my glasses - I have ones for walking about and ones for using a screen. So I use this as an opportunity to write my list for the following day. 

As I mentioned before I am not as consistent as I would like to be so I am searching for ways to help me be so. One is actually creating myself a ‘Grown-up Star Chart” to help me become more aware of my ‘streaks’ of consistency.  But maybe being consistent is for another journal entry. 

For now I will focus on performing my morning and evening rituals. They are just little habits that help me start the day feeling like Wonder Woman (seriously- it’s a thing!) and end it feeling more Dylan from the Magic Roundabout. Taking charge of how I start and finish my day, makes me feel more in control and that I am setting myself up for success.

Do you have any rituals that keep you grounded? What works for you? I’d love to know.

Jules x